Author of Madam, Have You Ever Really Been Happy? An Intimate Journey through Africa and Asia

THE EYES HAVE HAD IT!

I just received an email that brightened my life, and I want to share it with you in the hope that it will brighten yours too! It surprised and delighted me with its enormous font (which does not translate to a blog), filling the page with observations triggered by my announcement of being diagnosed with macular degeneration–a major shock as you can imagine. Barry’s humor shone through and was just what the doctor ordered! Enjoy!

Hi, Meg

The irony is blinding but I have to ask: Are you going to be able to read what I write here on the subject of your eyesight? Do you have a text to speech function on your computer? I’m sure you could get something, I’m thinking you would probably choose a warm, deep male British type voice. Or would you prefer French? Regardless, it’s a challenge for so many aspects of one’s life not to be able to see. And while there may be some tools that can assist those with impared vision, not being able to see is the ultimate in the world of in-accessibilities.

There is a program on our local NPR station (WNYC if you would like to look it up) called The Pulse. Today the topic was the connection between dermatology and psychology. The program offered up several stories of people who are, by nature, caught up with their appearance and how others perceive them and how so many have severe mental health issues as a result of extreme skin conditions such as eczema. Well, I am fortunate not to have had much to complain about regarding my skin. However, I think that right after navel lint, degrading eyesight is the first real sign of aging that most people encounter. It came as a shock to me at the age of 40 to find that I suddenly could not read the fine print on the directions for installing a battery in some miniaturized electronic device. Not only could I not read the 4 point type, I got dizzy and had to lie down on the floor. Yes, that was mostly for dramatic effect but not entirely. I really thought that I might have suffered some kind of brain trauma. When I saw the optometrist and described the episode, the woman merely nodded and proceeded with the eye exam as if the only question really was, how much did I want to spend on frames for the glasses. Glasses? For me? The optometrist failed to realize that what I needed, in that moment, was not a fitting but a therapist. Someone to say something like, “Yes, it looks like you have a mild case of presbyopia but you are in remarkable good health for someone your age and it’s a marvel you haven’t had to see an optometrist before now!” Optionally, I should have then been allowed 30 minutes to talk about how it had all happened and what life was like for me back in my younger years when my sight was a medical marvel. But no. There is no preparation. There is no consoling. There is just the choice of prescription or readers and a clear warning that this is just the beginning and that you will be making regular visits to an eye doctor for the rest of your life.

Believe me, Meg, I totally get what you are going through. And it seems that this has come at a most inopportune moment in your life. Just when you could give up so many other things (house cleaning, weeding, pickleball, etc.) and retire to your comfy chair for a good read or your desk for some neglected correspondence, your hall pass is denied and you must rely on your other four senses for purpose and diversion.

Hey, by the way, have your other senses become much more attuned? Do you hear colors? Can you smell the weather? Or is that all nonsense? Yeah, I’m thinking there are few substitutes for good eyesight. But every day brings promise of technological work arounds. I suggest that if those don’t come quickly enough for you or you just want to show some moxie and an f.u. to your aging challenges, you buy yourself a dartboard. And put it where you can do the most damage.

I love you, Meg!
Barry

Barry has been a dear friend of the family since he was in middle school with my children. He and his wife, Ruth, a talented violinist, live in New York City opposite BAM (Brooklyn Academy of Music), a perfect location for a musician and a dramatist. Barry is the Managing Director of the New York City Children’s Theater, and has a wit, par excellence.

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2 Comments

  1. Nancy

    Hi Meg,
    Always great to hear or see you. Hope you’re doing well. All is well here, continuing to play my violin for Vespers each Sunday. Once a month my Piano Trio gives a program in our assisted living section of Emerald Heights.
    Make the most of each day. I’m trying my best too.

  2. mully

    wonderful sharing from Barry Meg…..so witty and cogent! xoxo

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